Good Memories.....Bad Photos

Where are all my layouts of Mexico?  where oh where?

It is taking me awhile to sift through my photos to find the right ones to scrap.  There are lots of BabyOfTheFamily....and that's about it.  The teenagers are in the "take a picture of my hand" phase....aka. MOM! Don't take my picture!  or....DELETE THAT!  I look ugly!

Here is a sample of what I am dealing with....some photos of DramaQueen over the past few months of special occasions....

Introducing.....THE HAND

The Halloween Pumpkin Carving HAND

The Christmas Eve HAND

Opening Presents on Christmas Day HAND

Happy Birthday to you (Jan 5 2012) HAND

How about a photo with your Uncle who is visiting us from Nicaragua? HAND

But I'm an optimist, and I think, hey...when we get to Mexico, the teens will be so RELAXED and beg me to take photos of their tans, their beach bods....

And here's what I got....the SANDY HAND.....

After much perseverance, I managed these two lovely shots....

I consider myself lucky that I got 3 fingers....instead of one.

Hmmmm....like mother like daughter??

These photos frustrated me so much that I had to self-medicate....while lounging on the beach...

(not my photo....and sadly, not my drinks either)

And this is why I cannot do something like Project 365....a photo a day?  yeah....right.

I think I'm going to plot my revenge....and for DramaQueen's next birthday, I will give her a mini album, titled..."A Year in the Life of Your Hand."

Back-to-School Shopping Mall of Horrors

No, the title isn't misleading. Yes, I know it's October already and Back-To-School shopping is long gone....however, it has taken me this long to recover from one particular shopping trip with DramaQueen in early September. Thus, you are reading a belated post ;)

Shopping with a teenage daughter is tricky at best. A lot depends on mood.... not just her mood, but MY mood too. I was feeling extraordinarily patient one September day and agreed to go to the BIGGEST mall in the universe...located right here in my home town (lucky me).

Apparently these are the textbooks that fashionistas are studying.

I thought of comparing this shopping trip to an ocean cruise...sometimes feeling like I'm on a 5-star Princess cruise ship...and other times feeling like I'm in a deflating life raft without a paddle.

We "cruised" happily into the first store and ended up fairly soon in the change room. That's where things started to deteriorate.

Conversation in Fitting Room:

ME: That's cute!
DQ: No, it's not.

{next outfit}
ME: That's cute!
DQ: NO, it's NOT!

{14 outfits later}
ME: Ummmmm...isn't that shirt see-through??
DQ: That's the whole point!!

I wish I had photos for you from the Fitting room, but that would have been too creepy.

Instead, I took photos while waiting OUTSIDE the Fitting Room {mwaahaa...evil laughter}

Here's a lovely t-shirt....

The "feminist" in me really enjoys the nude images of women that form a skull.  How artistic!

And check out this delightful tag on a tank top....

Sorry for the poor quality photo.....all these teen stores have horrible lighting.

Let me type out what is printed on the tag:  "Keep out of Reach of Good Girls"  then below that: "Successful Loving Tablet"  "1 capsule" 

See that pink circle?  That is actually a pink tablet/pill in a plastic enclosed bubble.  Egads.  What the ??

After spending most of the day in dimly lit stores that have pounding music and are masquerading as nightclubs, we entered a happy place, all bright and colourful.

This store is Victoria Secret for teens...called "PINK"

I don't know about you, but all of my bras and panties when I was 14 years old were BEIGE.  Not even white.  And definitely NOT black (that colour was only for bad girls!)  Now the girls can buy RAINBOW underwear!

I had a devilish thought while she was trying on stuff in this Pink store....why not buy an extra large thong in neon pink for myself.  But no, I knew DQ wouldn't find the humour in that, and I could not put up with anymore eyerolling.

Instead, I sat quietly and watched all the other middle-aged moms stand in the check-out line with the same dazed and confused looks on their faces as me.

And that helped..a little...knowing that I'm not alone on this mothership that's being tossed about in the storm called "Hurricane Adolescence."

I can't wait til we come to port...in like 10 years or so??

September Sketchy Challenge

Have all of you joined in the fun over at the Canadian Scrapbooker website?  The first EVER Sketchy Challenge is now on...and you have until September 30 to submit your layout!

Here is the sketch, designed by Jill Sarginson....



Awesome sketch!!! Thanks Jill!

And here is my layout based on the sketch....



3 teens + 1 tween = disastrous photo shoot

And these were only three of the many MANY photos I took that Fall afternoon last October.  Sigh.

If you're wondering, the "fourth" child in the black hoodie is my nephew who lives with us part time.

Also, if you're wondering what BoyGenius is yelling and gesturing about.....a car is driving by, so he is yelling, "Hey, whatta ya looking at?!?!?"  Yep.  Classic teen behavior.  Lucky me.

I decided to use their "vernacular" for the title....not that they'd know what the word "vernacular" means...but if you make a mistake or do something poorly, the teens say "FAIL". 

Thus, my appropriate teen title is "Fall Fail".  Instead of thinking of myself failing as a photographer, I'd rather think of my teens failing as subjects :)

And so, my layout design was born!

These adorable papers, chipboard, stickers and die cuts are all from the new Bella Blvd. "Finally Fall" collection.  The black sticker alpha used in the "Fall" part of the title is Harmonie.   I have to tell you, designing a cute layout with a fun collection like this without using ANY techniques was a refreshing change of pace for me. 

The leaves are turning and the temperatures are cooler now, and you know what that means?  I have to start planning my annual Fall photo shoot....maybe this time without the teens :)

Miss Daisy...Still Crazy

The end is near.  BoyGenius (BG) wants to take his driving road test. GULP.

I do not want him to take this test.  Why?  Here are a few reasons....actually, here are some things he has said while practising his driving with me. [I am NOT making this stuff up]

What you do NOT want to hear when your 16-year-old son is learning to drive:

1.  [Spoken while shoulder checking]..."You know, mom, when I'm shoulder checking, I'm just turning my head around.  I'm not looking at anything."

2.  [After cruising through a 4-way-stop in our neighbourhood WITHOUT stopping]...."Was I supposed to stop there?  My bad."

3.  [His cell phone rings.  Yep, he answers it!!]..."Hello? Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm driving.  Peace out." [The peace does go out at that  moment as I start yelling at him about answering his phone!]

4. [At a major intersection, we are first in the left turning lane.  The light is RED] ..."Can I go now?"

5. [During one of our many practice sessions] ..."When are you and dad going to buy me a car?" [I pretty much laugh out loud at this one]

6. [After I laugh about him asking for a car]..."There is no point in me practising my driving if you're not buying me a car!"

7. [During an angry silence]..."You know, when I get my own car, you will have no control over me, and you won't know where I am." [Well then.  Now we will DEFINITELY buy him a car.]


8. [After I correct a number of the above mistakes]..."Stop telling me what to do! I know how to drive!!"

I'll stop telling him how to drive when he figures out what this sign means!

The REALLY scary thing?? I know there LOTS more teenage boys out there driving who are just like him!

After I post this blog, I'm going to dye my hair, which has now gone completely grey. 

And then I'm going to slash the tires on my minivan...

Father's Day Thoughts

Yesterday, my husband read this wonderful quotation by Mark Twain (in the newspaper), which I'm sure many of you have heard before..


When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874

 I find consolation in these words, mostly because Twain is saying that 140 years ago (and probably since the beginning of time), parents have had to deal with the teenage mindset of "I know EVERYTHING and you know NOTHING."

And I also admire Mark Twain for finding the comedy within the teenager's absurd point of view.

Because that's what I want to do...laugh at these silly moments in life, instead of cry.

Happy Father's Day to all those deserving dads out there who make a difference in their children's lives and don't give up on them in the teenage years.

BoyGenius(BG) and his Dad, 3 summers ago

 

Driving Miss Daisy...Crazy

Honestly, I'm too old to be teaching my son how to drive.

For the past month, our 16-yr-old son, BG (BoyGenius), has been taking driving lessons.

Here's a "stealth" photo I sneaked while hiding inside our front door, like a contortionist, sticking my camera only out into the window area, praying I would get a decent shot.  Not bad, hey??

In "teen speak" this activity is called "LURKING".  Ex....I walk into our home office while teen daughter is on the computer..."MOM! Quit lurking!" I pass by my teen son laying on the couch to pick up the cushions from the floor while he is texting..."MOM! You're such a lurker!"  Their trendy vocabulary is soooo impressive. Like, I want to know what they are saying to their friends....NOT.  (Oh no! I'm starting to sound like THEM!)

Where was I?? Oh yeah, the driving lessons.

So after his first lesson, I realized he needed to practise.  And of course, my husband was out of town. Great.

I decided to be brave and be a good mommy and handed him the keys to my mini van.  Hey, maybe he would refuse to drive it because it is such an uncool vehicle.  No such luck.  Off we went.

I thought about packing an Emergency Kit, with some First Aid essentials:

Something to calm my nerves.

Something to restart my heart after it stops....when he doesn't.

And these special underwear...because even though he might not have an accident, there's a good chance that I will!

Well, I did not pack these essentials and lived to tell the tale.  Maybe I'll go finish off the Heineken in his bathroom cupboard instead.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

My older daughter and I get along great.  She's the easygoing one in the family, ready to laugh at her own mistakes and doesn't stay angry for long.  Must be my genetics.  But for the sake of this blog, I will call her Drama Queen or DQ, an affectionate nickname for her in our family.

But the one issue that rears its ugly head and we argue about is her uncanny ability to keep her room messy.  I guess you could say DQ is a "collector"....a nice term for a "packrat"....and likes to hang on to things FOREVER. 

Like her magazines.  They stack up and stack up and I do not understand why she doesn't toss them.  Sooooo frustrating!

The other day when I walked into her room (hmmmm...maybe I should just stay OUT of my teenagers' rooms!) I saw this lovely display on her floor

And her night table beside her bed had a similar mountain of assorted reading materials...

So of course I "lost it" and we had a roaring good "discussion." 

To calm myself down, I ran a hot bath and soaked with one of my favourite scrapbooking magazines in hand

And then went straight to bed with a good book.

Okay, okay....the irony of this is not lost on me.  Or should I say the HYPOCRISY?? ha ha!

We will be featured on the TLC tv show "Hoarders" some day soon :)

Blood Pressure

I've never thought about my blood pressure.  Isn't that the topic of conversation in retirement homes?  Lately, it's on my mind because we have teenagers in the house.  Conversations that begin with, "Mom, don't freak out, but...." raise my blood pressure numbers, as does Call Display with the school's phone number.  Mostly it's my 16-year-old son, whom I'll affectionately call Boy Genius on this blog, who can really get my blood boiling.  Texting him about simplest things can turn into extraordinary bouts of frustration.  Example:  ME:  When are you going to be home?  HIM:  Never.  ME: Why don't you answer my texts??? HIM: (no answer).

A couple of days ago, I was cleaning his bathroom.  Even entering his bedroom and adjoining bathroom gives me heart palpitations now, and I wonder, "What undiscovered secret will I find that will put me over the edge?"  Opening his bathroom cupboard, I saw this:

Bathroom Beer

Yep...that's right.  Six unopened Heineken! Should I blame this on his father's German heritage?? What to do? What to do?  I walked over to his bookshelf and had a chat with Wise Ol' Teddy Bear (a Build-a-Bear no less). 

Bedroom Bear

How did this happen?  Where did my little boy go?  From Bear to Beer? 

Then I did what every self-respecting mother would do....I cracked a few bottles open ....and lowered my blood pressure.  [smile]  And this is why I scrapbook...to escape into a world of happy memories.